


these four walls

by boneandbriine (pllutonium)



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Anxiety, Blood, Character Death, Depression, Gen, Gore, Injury, Medicine, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Mental Institutions, Minor Character Death, Self-Harm, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-16
Updated: 2016-02-16
Packaged: 2018-05-21 01:22:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6032944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pllutonium/pseuds/boneandbriine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sebastian's cinematic records from his life in a thread I have on tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	these four walls

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer;
> 
> I am, in no way making fun of any patients that have been emitted into a hospital only to be failed by the doctors and nurses within the institute. I have been doing research about the asylum that I have chosen where Sebastian was held in. I’m not trying to make fun of the people that have lost their lives, nor am I trying to bring light to anything because those places, especially in the 1800s, were one of the worst places you could be.
> 
> If anyone catches any false information, or something offensive, please tell me and I will change it accordingly. Thank you. I am so sorry if it's jumpy. I wrote it in the early morning.
> 
> follow hcllishmonarch for more angst and horrible things done to characters because I simply can.♡
> 
> Medical terms / drugs: 
> 
> Homicidal Mania: a mental illness where a person has the irrational desire to kill someone  
> Incoherency: lacking normal clarity or intelligibility in speech or thought  
> Chronic Mania: definition means presence of manic symptoms in excess of 2 years without remission, in this case symptoms of homicidal mania  
> Delirium of Persecution: a state of clouded consciousness in which the person believes others are threatening or conspiring against them.  
> Chloroform: used to sedate patients  
> Morphine: used for pain and to ease anxiety

 

Candlelight softly washed over the room, tall, black candles being the source as wax melted down them. The tall devil was on the circular bed a deep purple blanket over him, and fluffy pillows behind him. He was relaxing in only sweatpants as he had become quite warm in the room. He breathed slowly as he flicked through the channels, bored and alone. He found a ghost hunting show, and gave an internal shrug, clicking it. He leaned back more, sinking into the pillows as his red gaze trained on the television in front of him.

“ _We are going to investigate **London Psychiatric Hospital** formally known as_ — “Sebastian didn’t hear the rest as the team walked to the gurney in the middle of the rotting hall, the walls peeling as if it was trying to destroy itself. Exposed piping was on the ceiling, and paint had come off in chunks on the floor.

Sebastian’s heart had picked up, staring at the all too familiar hallway in building Q, his grasp on anything falling apart as he was plunged into a room of bright white, a muzzle on his face. He looked around with brown eyes, his black hair short and combed back, but was now in front of his face. He heard voices outside then, scooting forward to hear.

“He was in prison, but they sent him here?” “Yes, sir. He killed thirteen men in there with his hands.” “ _His hands?_ ” The nurse gave a grim nod, her brown hair up in a swirled bun, stray hairs flying everywhere. “Yes… his hands. Here is his admittance record from Marlow.”

Dr. Williams nodded, taking the file. “So, Homicidal Mania, he’s underweight, drug addict—what drug?” “Opium, sir.” “Alright, we cannot use that as treatment for him…. Until we decide what is fully wrong, he will have to be on chloroform if he is violent, and morphine for his anxiety….” He clicked his tongue, reading over the record,” Considers his killings as the most natural, and finest ever performed by any one – Says that he killed them by tearing them apart with his bare hands and nothing more ---was also seen eating their flesh……why is he _here_ , and not in the chair?” “I do not know.”

She looked at the door, jumping back to see the dark, brown gaze staring at them through the thick lashes, a black strand of hair falling between his narrow eyes. The doctor looked at him, frowning as Sebastian looked at him. 

Dr. Williams walked to the door, speaking through it easily,” sit down, Sebastian.” “No.” The doctor led the nurse down the hall gently,” listen. No matter what he says, you cannot listen to him. He is being tormented by demons right now, so he has come to the right place. Father Alexander can help him.” She gave a small nod,” yes…. after we purge him of it, will he be civilized?” “In hopes, yes…. now it says that he believes that his family was conspiring against him, so we have to try and prevent him thinking the same way here. He is also harmful to himself just as he is to us.”

She gave another nod,” alright…. I still feel uneasy about this.” “All of us do. Father Alexander should be here soon to examine him.” She gave a brief nod; and a tall, brunet walked up to them, smiling. “Hello, I am assuming you are Dr. Williams?” “Yes, Michaelis is this way…. He does not seem to be stable at all.” The priest nodded slowly,” I see, what is his diagnosis?” “As far of being entered into here, he only has Homicidal Mania.” “Oh? Another one?” “Yes, sir.” “Oh, I checked on Elliot the other day.”

Elliot was a previous patient from the institute, and he had Homicidal Mania as well as other complications. Upon seeing Father Alexander, he had calmed down, to the state of where he was released. Dr. Williams looked at him,” oh? How is he?” “He died.” “What? How?” “Blood loss. He had shot himself.” The blond doctor stopped near Sebastian’s door, waving to it,” he is in there….be careful. We do not know what he is capable of.” “Do not worry,” the priest spoke, opening the door.

He entered only to find Sebastian in a corner, curled up and staring at the wall silently. He did not move when the door opened, or when his shoulder was touched by the man. “Sebastian, please look at me.” The brown gaze then raised up to the man with a low growl that was far from being human. The priest moved back, his dark, green gaze turning as round as saucers. "Sebastian, enough, sit down."

The taller man stood, tearing out of the straight-jacket with inhumane strength, lunging at the priest. He hissed as a cross was pressed to his throat, the skin bubbling and churning. He, however, was faster, his hand plunging through the man's chest, cracking the bone. He peeled back muscle and skin, showing the organs and bones underneath as red coated the floor. He snapped the man's arm off with a snarl, but the door opened then, Dr. Williams calling for help along with chloroform.  The black haired man tried to fight his way free, struggling and snarling. However, when the doused cloth met his face, his eyes rolled back as he slumped in their hands.

* * *

 

 _"_ _Momma, look!" A little child held up a new book proudly, his mother smiling at him as she picked him up. "What do you have there, Sebastian?" "I have a copy of the New Testament, Momma." He beamed at her, his brown eyes full of joy. The tall woman laughs gently, brushing his messy hair out of the way. "How did you get it?" "I helped the pastor down the street, and he gave it to me! He told me I was a good boy, and that God would like me lots!" "Of course he would, sweetheart. You're too cute ." He smiled more, his chubby cheeks crunching his eyes a bit. "What have you done today?" He looked at the black-haired woman. Her soft, grey eyes turn to him," I've just been relaxing since the surgery, Sebastian. Do not worry." "Are you sure?" He tests, causing another melodic laugh to escape her plump lips. "Yes, Bastian, I'm sure."_

_Two days prior to his 4th birthday, Elise was found dead in the morning after eating her breakfast. Sebastian's father was harsh to the small boy as he mourned, and his father's family moved in to help pay for bills, and help run the candle shop. Sebastian, however, was left to rot in the attic in his home. Bruises covered his little body as he cried quietly, wiping his black and blue face. "I miss you, Momma." He whimpered out, looking up to the family portrait when everything was better. He sniffled softly, wiping his nose on his rags that were considered clothing, his brown gaze to the rotten floor._

* * *

 

Shuffling feet move forwards as Sebastian held up his tray, brown slop hitting the tray as he sighs quietly. It had been a month into him being emitted within the institute, and he was more mentally exhausted then when he was out in the real world. All he had now was four white walls and a disgusting man as his therapist. He went to the back quietly, sitting at a table by himself on a metal chair. He began to eat the stew quietly, gaze down. He could feel their eyes at him, watching him, ready to restrain him again.

For the first three days of being in after he had killed the holy man, he was in restraints. When he was just blankly staring at the white ceiling, they had removed them, but on the inside, Sebastian was mortified. He didn't know what had happen to him, fourteen was now his kill count. He wasn't upset because he had killed them; he was upset because he wasn't feeling any remorse. It made him feel like an absolute monster.

At night time, Sebastian had heard small, soft cries echo through the halls. Already unable to sleep, he decided to investigate. He knew that being in this place would scare little kids, but he also knew the fear when he was a child of being abandoned and alone. He walked down the hall quietly, nurses watching him warily as he followed the sad noise. He got to room 114, and softly knocked before he peaked inside. On the bed sat a small child with dark hair, and his face covered by his small, thin hands.

Sebastian walked in, closing the door behind him as he walked to the metal frame bed, crouching next to the side. "Hey," he softly says," it is going to be alright, little one. I will help you." His long fingers gently loop around the thin wrists, pulling them from the face. The child looked at him quietly with his good, left eye. The large, blue gaze staring at him quietly. The other eye was nothing but scarring.

Sebastian got onto the bed carefully. "What's your name?" "Ciel," the small voice came out. "I'm Sebastian. Now, why are you crying? There is nothing to be afraid of here, Ciel." "It's so dark," he quietly sniffled, looking down. Sebastian gently scooped him up," I know. I'm scared of the dark too. It makes me see things I don't like to see." The large eye turned to the brown gaze," r-really?" "Yes. I am absolutely terrified when it's pitch black, but look," he pointed to the small window. "You have the moon greeting you. There's nothing to fear here. They gave you a good room."

The deep ocean gaze went to the window, and he let out a small sniffle. He looked back to Sebastian, the taller gently asking,” why are you here?” “M-My parents were killed in a f-fire, and th-these masked people were trying to kill m-me too. They didn’t believe me that men tried to k-kill me, so they brought me here…. why are you here?” “I hurt people, and I enjoyed it. Don’t worry. I won’t hurt you, Ciel. You are too _precious_ to hurt.”

Ciel let out a soft giggle as Sebastian ruffled his hair gently,” now, lay down. Go back to sleep.” “Will you stay with me until I’m asleep?” “Yes, I will.”

* * *

 

"Sebastian, look at me." The brown gaze looked to the doctor as he watched him silently. "Does anything hurt?" "No, nothing hurts. When I was five, I fell once, and I didn't know what to do, but my mother had helped me. She gave me ice cream, and told me that I had to --""Stop, Sebastian. I'm not asking about your childhood." Sebastian's knee bounced up and down in anxiety as he watched the doctor quietly, his heart racing. Dr. Williams looked to Elizabeth," get me some morphine, we have to calm his anxiety." She nodded and exited the room, Sebastian watching her before he looked to the doctor again. "Do you like ice cream? I only like vanilla. The chocolate makes me extremely--""Stop, Sebastian.... Just....stay quiet for now." Sebastian frowned," or what? Are you going to send me to the chair? You already think that--""No! I do not thin--""Yes you do! Your brow twitched. You're lying to me like my family did! They wanted to kill me! Mother wanted me to eat that pastry that killed her too!" Elizabeth brought in chloroform upon getting to hear what was happening, the doctor giving it to Sebastian, making him black out. He shook his head with a soft sigh," seems like there's just more than Homicidal Mania to him.... 

* * *

 

_The pub was dark as a tall figure leaned over the bar, a glass in hand as he celebrated his 22 nd birthday alone. He was poked at by a grimy finger, frowning as he looked up to see one of his uncles. "Sebastian, why aren’t you home with your father? The man is dying.” “I could hardly care less.” He says flatly, getting a long drink from his glass before it was torn from him, the dark, amber liquid splashed upon his clothing. _

_“You never cared about him. All you cared about was your whore of a mother who could never keep her legs shut. If I was her husband, I would have kicked her on the streets before a disgusting brat like you was born.”_

_Sebastian’s brow twitched as he glared at his uncle, the short, stout man glaring at him with beady eyes. Sebastian stood up, heading to the door. A fat hand grabbed his arm, slamming him back down,” listen here boy. Your mother was a **disgusting** wench that deserved to die, she—“The large hand came to the fat throat as Sebastian growled, squeezing instantly, crushing the bone below the skin. _

_He let his uncle’s body drop, and the bar stood still before men started to try to hold Sebastian down. The taller was slaughtering all men that came in his way, twelve more falling from his hands before he was finally shackled and thrown into a police carriage._

* * *

 

There was a routine now since meeting Ciel. When Sebastian heard the soft cries from Ciel, he would go to him and comfort him, trying his absolute best. It evolved into staying with Ciel through the night, and none of the nurses had said anything. Nor had they said anything about him singing other children to sleep during violent storms.

Ciel moved a white knight, looking up at Sebastian with a smirk. “Checkmate. I win,” he stuck out his tongue as Sebastian chuckled. The warm, summer air swirled around them as they played, and the older one nodded. “Yes, you win… for the eleventh time.” “It isn’t my fault you are not good at this.” Ciel teased.

Sebastian arching a brow at him,” oh? Really? _I’m_ bad at chess?” “Yes. You can’t beat me," Ciel spoke as he started to pack away the chess pieces,” Lunch should be served soon.” Sebastian smiled warmly at Ciel, standing up. They walked into the large, brick building, heading to lunch.

* * *

 

“Sebastian….” Ciel gently prodded the sleeping figure as he jerked within his sleep. Sebastian clawed at the white sheets, scowling in his sleep as Ciel shook him harder with a wide eye. He called for a nurse, but was ignored so he hopped on the bed. His little heart beat quickly as he shook Sebastian more and more. “Wake up! You’re not there, Sebastian!” He called, not realizing what the dream was. He squealed as a large hand suddenly was on his chest, crushing the bone below, a weak cry escaping the pale lips as Sebastian’s large body hovered over Ciel’s. His hands clawed at the broken bone and punctured lungs, a nurse rushing in with a cloth.

He backhanded her into the wall with a snarl, leaving Ciel’s body on his bed, the large blue eye staring blankly ahead at the white ceiling. His dark hair splayed on the white sheets, and his pale skin melting against the white gown he wore that slowly turned red. More nurses and doctors came, Sebastian slammed onto the tiled floor with a snarl, his arms restrained to his back. A rough hand grabbed his hair, jerking his head up before a cloth was held to his nose. He huffed and huffed until his eyes rolled back; and he turned limp. The team of seven pulled back from him, three bodies in the room as they looked at the single man that had wrecked more lives. “Call in for permission to have him executed.” A nurse breathed shakily before she walked out, heading to the desk.

* * *

 

Long months had passed, and the staff had grown more and more aggressive to Sebastian. He would try to hurt himself with whatever he could, broken tile,  _anything_  to try and ease himself from the hell he was held in. He was left in confinement and forgotten about many times until he would bang and scream on the door, and his body had become a weak, thin shell of nothing. His vacant eyes watched around him as he sat in his room with his food. He grabbed he knife and he slipped it underneath his pillow. He ate the small portion of food given to him.  _It gets smaller, and smaller each passing day. You don't deserve to be here. They're trying to kill you, so might as well give them a favor and do it yourself._

He was quiet through the day, getting into his bed at night, staring at the white ceiling. _Two doctors, five nurses, a child, and thirteen men..... Twenty one dead, and now they start to whisper of the chair, to cook me alive and make me dead as those people..._

He sat up slowly, pulling out the dull knife, his thumb running over the blade of it as the moonlight bounced off the metal blade. He looked at it quietly, then the white walls ahead.  _Let me rot with these four white walls..._

A deadly swipe ran the blade across his neck, and he let out gargled gasps as blood ran down his pale neck as his brown eyes were wide, staring up at the ceiling. He sputtered out blood, but a clawed hand went over the wound, golden eyes staring at him in fear. "This wasn't supposed to happen...." The glowing eyes looked around desperately, his hand pressing firmly on the wound. He didn't dare get a nurse, that would just expose himself to the humans. 

The demon looked at Sebastian with large, gleaming, red eyes as he was pulled from his body, his spirit lingering in the room. He looked at himself quietly, blinking slowly, not seeming to register it for a little bit. Then he saw the figure standing over him, well, the  _darkness._ The hand pulled from his neck, as the demon pulled from his body, clearing his throat. "Let me help." Sebastian's gaze then went to the little child in the corner, his single eye wide as he stared at all of the blood. "Sebastian!" The demon snarled, causing the brown gaze to look at him again. "Do you want a second chance?" That question was repeated over and over, and then Sebastian just numbly nodded, crying out as the demon attacked him.

* * *

 

Red eyes slowly opened as Sebastian raised his head up slowly, rubbing his head. He winced as he sat up, a little hand holding out to him. He looked up to see Ciel there, smiling weakly at him. The demon grabbed the small spirit's hand, standing up before he looked to his body, eyes widening. He looked down at himself, then Ciel. "What happened?" "You died. A demon was possessing you, and his actions caused you to kill yourself. In pity, and because your soul was so corrupted, he made you a demon too." "So...I'm _dead_?" "Yes, but you can do more than I can....Oh, take care of this," he showed the blood crusted knife. "It links you to earth from what the demon was telling me, and if you ever want to leave, you have to trick someone to take it." 

He nodded slowly, jumping as a sharp scream echoed out. Sebastian looked at the nurse that had entered to check on him, rushing over as she screamed for a doctor. The demon hovered over the coroner as his file was completed in the morgue, silent as he watched his body be slid into the crematory. He stayed as the room's lamps were taken out as the man left, the demon left alone within the room.

* * *

Patients came and went, and Sebastian had took the liberty of choosing a few unlucky ones to torment. In the end, he gained their soul, but now that the institute was shut down, he only had those few souls left in the asylum, wailing and moaning. Paint cracked and fell, floors collapsed and fixtures broke as the lost souls stayed where they had finally rested from the hell they lived through. Red eyes scanned the snow lain area for any intruders, because the living just wasn't meant to see the dead.

 


End file.
